I'm continually reminded the true value of making a 10th Step amends is - I can leave the event behind. If I don't, it festers. Make amends, be free of it.
That is not to say it's easy. I'm the best in the world at making it YOUR FAULT. My pride steps in and I can walk away in a huff, carry that darkness for a loooong time. If I can say I'm sorry for my reaction, or my words or my act, and leave the rest to you, I can have freedom. Somehow, I'm relieved of my burden. But I have to mean it, too.
My problem is in the realizing and the doing. For so long I never realized what was going on inside. After several years of watching myself, only recently, I've become more aware of my ability to BS myself. Now it's time to get humble. Damn.
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